Another Top 10 weirdest sanctions against Russia. Part 2
Some alphabetic characters are apparently immoral
The are now 5,532 sanctions implemented against Russia. None are effective, but some are rather funny and amusing.
Part 1 of the most weird sanction against Russia can be found here — https://malenko.medium.com/the-top-10-most-weird-and-unusual-sanctions-against-russia-part-1-3fc5ef0735b2
In short, there are:
- Closure of McDonalds restaurants to protect Russian’s wellbeing and waistlines
- Ban on exporting black caviar TO Russia (presumably from Paris restaurants…)
- Confiscation of foreign-owned aircraft that can’t be returned to the owners since the airspace over Europe is closed to the Russian-operated aircraft
- Prohibition of showing Disney cartoons (Beavis and Butthead are still allowed)
- Ban on Russian classical music — those old-timers Tchaikovskiy and Glinka neglected to distance themselves from Vladimir Putin, who came in power some hundred years after their deaths. What a lousy excuse, Russkiys!
- Russian cats can no longer participate in international competitions… Woohoo!
- No more US sparkling wine and vodka to indulge delicate Russian stomachs
- No more US chewing tobacco and snuff… to the great pity of the American hillbillies who reside in Moscow
- The sales of the US-made saddles are no longer permitted to Russia
- And, surely the fighting spirits of the Russian troops would suffer dramatically from the ban on exporting grand concern pianos to the Russian Federation
It was hard to beat this Top Ten list. But I am going to try. Here is the Top Ten Part II:
1.2. On March 31st Latvia banned the use of letters “Z” and “V” in public, as they represent the symbols of Russian aggression. Lithuania and Germany seem to be willing to follow the suit. The first victim? — LatVia itself and the Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky…
I wonder what will happen if Vladimir Putin starts adding letters “A”, “E”, “L”, “S” and others onto his tanks. Will the Europeans get rid of their alphabets entirely?
2.2. Chanel in Dubai now requires its customers to sign forms stating that they would not take Chanel products to Russia and would not wear them in Russia. The company was surprised to learn that every customer gladly signed the form — even those who were clearly headed to the airport to catch a flight to Moscow. Could they be all lying on the form? Perhaps, it is the time to institute a “Fashion Police” to travel to Russia to control the Russian out- and underwear...
3.2. In Europe Russia flag can now only be displayed on the territory of the country’s diplomatic offices. The combination of the white, red and blue colours may be deemed undesirable. Watch out, Aquafresh toothpaste and Slovenia.
4.2. The US banned sale and export of the US dollar bills to the Russian government and Russian citizens. Top bad the US is not longer the largest holder of the US dollar bills — according to the Chicago Fed: “the estimates suggest that more than 60% of all U.S. bills and nearly 80% of $100 bills are now overseas” — https://www.chicagofed.org/publications/chicago-fed-letter/2018/396. By the way, some say that the best quality USD bills are now printed in North Korea. I am sure that comrade Kim can share some of his trade secrets with Uncle Vlad.
5.2. Edgar Degas was wrong! The famous French impressionist was totally off when in 1899 he named his painting “Russian Dancers”. But thankfully, we have some politically correct folks at the London Nationally Gallery who renamed the painting “Ukrainian Dancers”. I am sure that Edgar Degas who died 105 years ago would not have minded. Or would he?
6.2. Russian sport is banned. Men and women representing 56 sports can no longer compete internationally (in 14 sports the Russians are still allowed to compete under the “neutral” flag). Well, now in figure skating and gymnastics some other countries finally get a chance to win in the absence of any real competition.
7.2. A 198-year old oak tree that planted by the famous Russian writer Turgenev was banned from taking part in the “European tree of the year” competition.
8.2. Lego sets are no longer available to Russian kids. This restriction, surely, makes total sense! There is a very thin line between making a LEGO airplane and being an aggressive war promoter.
9.2. Diplomatic ties are severed. All in all, 2 countries broke off diplomatic relationship with the Russian Federation — Ukraine (understandably) and the Federated States of Micronesia, a major Pacific super power which is located… somewhere...
10.2. The last but not the least — there are unconfirmed rumours that the aliens stopped abducting Russian citizens and taking them over of their “flying saucers”. I will verify this claim and will get back to you.
Most sanctions have noble goals — usually, to make Someone DO Something or to REFRAIN from doing Something. These current anti-Russian sanctions are insane and useless — as that Someone does not care and perhaps has not even heard about those sanctions.
Now anyone in Moscow or Saint Petersburg when accused of being lazy at work can simply say: “Oh, I am stopping my work on the territory of the Russian Federation…”