Those Uncrazy Rich Scandinavians
Why don’t we hate them?
Kevin Kwan has introduced us to the world on the Crazy Rich Asians. From the classy and wealthy Singapore and Hong Kong to the nouveau riche and high-tech Shanghai and Beijing… With mandatory stopovers in secluded spas on Song Saa or Chiva Som (don’t ask me about the latter — they are way out of my price range, so I got them from a travel magazine for the cool crowd.
The rich are usually clannish and their different tribes can’t seem to stand each other:
· the Rich Europeans can barely tolerate the Rich Americans, since the latter “speak funny English” and surely had not read William Thackeray or Auguste Comte;
· the Rich Americans despise the Rich Asians, “cuz” the latter “speak funny English” and “have not read no book by that fellow Rembrandt guy”;
· the Rich Asians tend to dislike the Rich Chinese, because the former are always mistaken for the latter, and the latter “speak no funny English at all”;
· well, and pretty much everyone hates those Rich Russians… because they exist, and they should not have — aren’t they all, like, the Communists….? Vodka! Balalayka!
BUT. I sense no animosity toward the wealthy Nordics. Apparently they are not crazy enough, just slightly nutty. Think of Sweden’s richest man, the founder of the IKEA, Ingvar Kamprad who once was worth $58 billion. He flew economy class, recycled tea bags, and allegedly took a bus to the billionaire award show in Stockholm — yeah, he did not buy a bus; he bought a bus ticket (how many of your billionaire friends actually carry coins in their pockets?).
I am often reluctant to accept the “economy class argument” at face value — especially after seeing the former Ukraine’s Prime Minister Yatsenyuk booking an entire jet, so he could safely fly the economy class to ask his favourite German Chancellor for more loans.
So, let’s look into the wealth and sanity of the Scandinavians. There are some basic theses:
I. They are not rich — where are the Zuckerbergs of the North?
Just 52 (2.48%) of 2,095 world’s billionaires hold Scandinavian passports (Sweden — 31; Norway — 12; Denmark — 8 and Iceland — 1). Iceland used to have a few more billionaires until the country blew up in 2008 and almost sunk in the Kreppa (the all-mighty financial crisis of 2008–2011). The Iceland’s only billionaire Thor Bjorgolfsson was spared as he kept his money outside his home country — in the shares of Polish and Chilean telecoms.
The billionaire trade union is mostly made of the Americans (614 billionaires including the likes of Bezos and Buffet, as well as some tech nerdy kids from the nearby co-working offices) and 456 billionaires from China. I met Jack Ma once at the Saint Petersburg Economic Forum; I am sure there were more Chinese billionaires at the Forum, but they all seem to wear the same suits and haircuts…
II. They are not rich — nobody ever got rich by working… hm, I ain’t got a chance then…
The average monthly incomes in Scandinavian countries are still pretty high — let’s take the entire country’s income and divide it by the number of its citizen and residents (no stats that include ALL illegal aliens are available yet)
The world’s ranks (2019):
5. Norway — $6,875
8. Iceland — $6,071
10. Denmark — $5,270
13. Sweden — $4,653
Well, the Yanks seem to hang tight out there at №9 with $ 5,480 per month, and Singapore is at №12 with $4,996.
These numbers mean… nothing. The Gross National Income is the sum of all moneys earned by the residents of the country A minus the moneys earned by those pesky foreigners in the country A. And where are all the incomes of the undocumented non-residents? I was also curious about the Russian Internet Troll factories — do they contribute to the Russian GDP, or to the GDPs of the countries whose elections they try to influence?
III. The Scandinavians do not get a chance to spend their money. It is done for them.
Education. Healthcare. Guaranteed pensions. What we are prepared to pay for, the Nordics get for free. The governments of the 4 Northern European countries just do not trust people with their money — and the serious chunks of people’s incomes are removed through taxes — the highest income tax rates in Sweden and Denmank are 57% and 56% respectively. Even the local “low-tax heaven” Norway squeezes its residents for 38%.
So, after they have already bought their cars, houses, boats, saunas, and several sets of clothing by Birgir Christensen, or Samsøe Samsøe, they really have nothing to save for. That’s why you see the hoards of the Scandinavians (mostly male retirees) chasing after the young Thais of both genders on Ko Samiu or Phuket.
IV. The Scandinavians are good savers due to their deep Lutheran roots.
As Lutherans they are very honest, highly educated and “see earthly wealth as mandate of God to be taken care, and not wasted through conspicuous consumption”. This argument is a nice one to follow up but it lacks factual substance. For instance, there are more Lutherans in Ethiopia (7.8mln) than in Sweden (6.1 mln); or in Tanzania (6.5 mln) than in Denmark (4.4 mln).
And Gallup teaches us that the Nordics lead the world in being non-religious — in Sweden — 73% of population stay away from any religion; in Norway — 62%; in Denmark — 61% and in Iceland — 49%. Well, in Iceland still many people believe in Huldufolks (Hidden people) — the trolls (real, not the Russian Internet ones). And situation is changing rapidly in Sweden where hundreds of thousands of refugees change the religious demography.
So, why do we all think that the Scandinavians are rich? Because we transpire on them our own clichés. But:
· there are (almost) no poor, unemployed or homeless Scandinavians;
· they are tolerant, well educated and outgoing;
· they are healthy and live longer than most of us. It is probably all the herring…
